Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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