I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize