yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize