Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
