the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
