defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
