I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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