i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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