This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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