we're blogging at a bar
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize