you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
