the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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