Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
