Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
