i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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