Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
