the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
