dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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