I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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