If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
