She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
