Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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