Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Randomize
