Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
