Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
