I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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