I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
