Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
