We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
