Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
