White coat. Heels.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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