Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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