just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize