I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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