He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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