Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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