i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
