these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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