Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
