we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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