My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
