just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
