I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We just shotgunned beers for America
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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