I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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