no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
