Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
