Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
