Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize