if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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