I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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