we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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