Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
