So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
