didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize