all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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