Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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